Change
by Ishido Shuuji
Summary: Gouenji always wanted Kidou to be his partner but something happened which made him rethink his wish. Will he ever get over the feelings of hurt inflicted on him by the person he longed to be with the most? Rated M for language, probable sexual content in later chapters and slight forceful behaviour in Chapter 1. Yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone!**

**New story time. This is kind of following on from the fanfic "There are first times for everything" by 50 Shades of Kidou in that Gouenji wants to be in an exclusive relationship with Kidou but Kidou has always refused because he wants to play around. Anyway, it starts pretty badly for both characters really and will explore feelings and emotional stuff more than anything else (I think). And also because of that story, the characters are all two years older than they were in Go.**

**This story doesn't connect to any of my other stories at all and please don't expect it to be consistent and have a start, middle and end. It will probably be just one rambling outpour of heartbreak. I'm sorry, you have been warned but anyone who knows me probably doesn't expect any different XDD**

**I hope you enjoy it! **

* * *

"BZZZZ"

The sound of the doorbell made him jump despite him being the one who rang it. His hands were sweaty and he was trembling ever so slightly. He had no idea why he always reacted like this in his presence, after all, they'd been friends for over 10 years now. But that man held an unexpected strength. In his work environment he was precise and demanding and to some, even boring. But away from work he was anything but boring. The man oozed confidence and could captivate you with his eyes, rendering you immobile before reeling you in, his do whatever he pleased with.

In spite of all this, it was not fear that made him shake and perspire but lust. Pure unadulterated lust. He may never feel fully in control when in the other's company but what he gained from their trysts was akin to a drug. A drug he could neither free himself from, or even wish to quit. He was an addict, and these rendezvous were his addiction.

Kidou opened the large door of the mansion in which he resided. Wearing navy lounge pants and a grey vest he gave the impression that he'd been chilling out in old casual clothes but Gouenji noted the discreet DKNY logo and knew this outfit was every bit as co-ordinated as the designer suits he wore for work.

"Gouenji, you came."

"Not yet I didn't, but I'm hoping that you can resolve that little nuisance with that expert mouth of yours" Gouenji responded while walking into the great house, winking as he went.

Within seconds of the door being closed Gouenji found himself brutally slammed against the wall, Kidou's face a hair's breadth from his own.

"You have a dirty mouth Shuuya. One day it will get you in deep trouble."

"Oh? Are you going to punish me for my insolence and teach me how to behave around my superiors?"

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Damn right I would! Why else do you think I'm here?"

"Be careful what you wish for Shuuya. I'm going to fuck you so hard you're going to beg for mercy."

"Actions speak louder than words Kidou. So stop fucking talking about it and put your money where your mouth is."

And with that Gouenji closed the tiny gap that still remained between them and pulled Kidou in for a kiss. It was frantic and rough, filled with need. Gouenji tried to dominate and take control but in the end, as always, it was futile. Kidou took charge and Gouenji felt his resolve weakening. Truly the man was like a demon sucking his life force from him, diminishing his strength while Kidou's own vastly increased.

Gouenji felt his trousers getting tight as Kidou brought his erection to life by rubbing it through the fabric with his skilful fingers. They weren't even touching skin to skin but it made no difference, he felt every touch as if they were. And the mixture of that rubbing and groping combined with the oral assault Kidou's mouth was now inflicting on his neck and collar bone was intoxicating. He tried to feel Kidou, get his hand inside those designer pants but Kidou would not allow it capturing both Gouenji's wrists in his hands and pinning them to the wall above his head. Gouenji grew harder. When Kidou was this forceful it made Gouenji fantasise that he too was like a drug to him, one that at that very moment, had to be totally consumed.

He became aware of the slightest twinge on his neck and opened his eyes. He couldn't fully see Kidou from the position he was in but the unease he felt was instant.

"What are you doing? Kidou, you'd better not be giving me a love bite on my neck…"

…

"…Kidou…"

…

"KIDOU STOP! I'm not some fucking teenage girl you know. I'm a 26 year old man, one who cannot go to work tomorrow with a fucking tramp stamp on his neck. KIDOU!"

He tried to push Kidou away but Kidou still held his hands captive and was pressing his full weight against the blonde. Despite being the shorter of the two, Kidou knew exactly how to use his body to prevent anyone from moving or indeed, being able to move him. Gouenji was well and truly trapped.

Kidou's words came back into his head

"_You have a dirty mouth Shuuya. One day it will get you in deep trouble."_

It seemed that day was today.

It felt like an age but was probably only a minute when Kidou stopped his ministrations on Gouenji's neck. He didn't release his hands however and grabbed hold of Gouenji's chin with his free hand, fixing him with a steely glare.

"You are mine Gouenji. And I decided that after your little show of impertinence earlier, others deserve to know just who you belong to."

"But that's not true is it?" He wanted to sound angry but to Gouenji's dismay, his voice was nothing more than a whiny murmur. "I've lost count of the amount of times I've asked you to be my boyfriend and the equal amount of times you've refused."

Kidou shook his head, tutting, before crimson met chocolate once more. "You misunderstand me Shuuya. My words exactly were 'You are mine' but that does not mean I am yours in return, not at all. The sooner you realise this the better."

Gouenji swallowed hard and blinked quickly. If he didn't then the tears would fall and he did not want to show this weakness in front of Kidou, not now.

"Anyway, I got you a present, come and see."

Dazed, Gouenji found himself dragged into the sitting room before Kidou presented him with a box. He opened its lid but his eyes were glazed and could not focus on the contents.

"It's a new cravat Shuuya. You've not bought one in a while and this is made of the finest silk money can buy. In fact, I liked it so much I bought a matching tie."

At some point in his life (maybe even as little as ten minutes ago) this would have pleased Gouenji no end. Not the actual gift as such, even though he would have treasured anything received from Kidou, but the fact that Kidou had a tie which matched and if they wore them simultaneously then they would have looked like a couple.

Couple.

The word rolled round Gouenji's head. They were never a couple. Despite his hopes they would never share a similar life to Endou and Natsumi. He was a fool. The biggest fool. Kidou was just using him all this time. And this little display of so called ownership proved it.

"…and so I got a great deal on the two of them, wasn't that great? Anyway, put it on now and it will cover up your neck then no one would know would they? Problem solved."

Slowly Gouenji raised his eyes and connected them with Kidou's. He had never felt as alone in his whole life. He watched as Kidou removed the cravat from its box and opened it, preparing to fix it around his neck.

"Don't you dare."

"Don't I dare what? I'm just putting it on you to see how good it looks."

"Don't!"

"Why ever not?"

"Because I don't want it. And I don't want you either Kidou. You don't care about me at all. You've not thought one moment about how I feel and how I'll feel tomorrow. All you care about it trying to demonstrate who is the Alpha Male in this relationship which I have never ever questioned. I've always done what you wanted so that if the time came that you wanted to settle down then you might consider me as your partner. But obviously it wasn't enough was it? But you'll not be bothered by me pestering you to be my boyfriend any more. Goodbye Kidou, I hope you have a nice life."

And he slowly turned around and left the house, making his way back to his car and away from Kidou forever.


	2. Gouenji

**Hello everyone!**

**Chapter two focuses only on Gouenji and his life in the week following him leaving Kidou's house. There is a scene of a sexual nature at the end of the chapter so please be aware of that before reading.**

**I hope you all enjoy it. Kidou's chapter will come next :3**

* * *

Gouenji slowly opened his eyes and gazed up at the starry sky above him. He felt better than he had done in a long time. When his father had suggested he come to this tiny spa, remote and cut off from the hustle and bustle of everyday life he was sceptical, but it turned out to be the best place to retreat to and take stock off his life and where he wanted it to go from there on.

He took a deep breath and sighed. It had been a week now since that evening and still he had no idea what had caused Kidou to react in such a way. Yes, he'd been flippant with the other male but then he always was. It wasn't something new. So why had Kidou wanted to claim him? And in the cheapest way possible?

Then there was the fact that although they had no relationship as such, Gouenji never even looked at other men. Kidou was the only one he wanted, the only person he craved. Had Kidou caught him sleeping or kissing another man causing him to become jealous, he would have almost understood. Almost. But that had never been the case. It had always been Kidou refusing to settle down because he wanted to experiment with other people. So why did he feel the need to broadcast his hold on Gouenji to the world? Was it just a power thing? Did he do it just because he could? He did seem surprised at Gouenji's reaction however and in the 24 hours that followed were testament to that.

Gouenji had drove straight home, leaving everything in his car overnight. He didn't care anymore and certainly didn't want to hear his phone ringing and bleeping all night. He'd gone straight to his bedroom and cried himself to sleep, never bothering to get undressed or even get under the covers.

He woke, cold and disorientated at 3am feeling dreadful. He didn't know if it was due to the fact that he was shell-shocked and heartbroken or if he was catching a bug of sorts. Getting up he went to retrieve his phone from the car. The air was cold out. Although it was Spring the night was closer to Winter in temperature and he wasted no time in returning to his flat which suddenly felt a lot warmer than previously.

There were 30 missed calls from Kidou on his phone, 20 text messages and 5 emails. He looked at the messages and how they'd changed over the hours that had passed since he walked out.

- Gouenji. Why did you leave like that? What is up with you?

- Gouenji, I'd have assumed you'd be home by now so call or text me once you get this message

- Gouenji. This isn't funny. I know you're mad at me over something but grow up and stop acting like a diva for God's sake.

- Gouenji – where have you gone? I phoned your house number but you never picked up there either. Ring me now!

- Gouenji, please ring me just to let me know you're safe.

- Gouenji please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Talk to me, let me know nothing bad has happened to you.

Gouenji let out a tiny snort. Something bad had happened to him though. Something that he doubted he'd be able to get over in quite a while.

There was no point in him returning to bed, he knew he wouldn't sleep anyway. So he went to the kitchen and made himself a coffee. Black. And strong. He was tempted to add a slug of whiskey to it as well but resisted as he'd be at work soon and turning up reeking of alcohol wouldn't go down well at all. Especially coupled with a huge love bite on his neck. On top of everything, the last thing he needed was to get sacked.

As it happened he only lasted an hour at work before his boss demanded he go home and rest. He'd assumed that the recent FFI tournament and Youth World Cup bid had overworked Gouenji and informed him that under no circumstances was he to return to his job in the next two weeks. And, after that time, should he still feel the same, he was to take a further two weeks absence. Gouenji had been doing this job for two years now yet had never taken a proper holiday other than on public holidays so as well as being overworked, his boss simply assumed he was in dire need of a well earned break.

But Gouenji didn't want to spend the next fortnight at home on his own hiding from Kidou, so he spoke to his father about suggestions on where to visit to unwind, which is how he had ended up here, at this spa.

He'd gone home and booked a two week stay immediately, starting that very day and left within the hour. As he walked out of the communal doors of his apartment block he passed a courier delivering the biggest bouquet of red roses he had ever seen. They were for him. The deliverer had asked for directions to his flat number and he'd given them politely, failing to mention that the address given was his own. He felt bad hoodwinking the courier like that but he didn't want to accept them and have to read the attached card. He had to get away from Kidou and begin the torturous process of weaning himself off his addiction to the man.

And so here he was. Sat out on a cold evening in warm outdoor hot springs gazing up at the cloudless sky. He'd booked himself the executive villa which bought him his own private section of the springs, shielded away from the public areas. It also had the luxury of his own private chef and beauty technicians meaning he could enjoy all the services provided in his own villa rather than having to venture to the main building and mingle with the other guests. He didn't want to appear antisocial but the love bite was still visible even after a week and the last thing he needed right now was for strangers to ask why he was here while taking note of the telling mark that blemished his otherwise flawless skin.

He'd not eaten much since he'd arrived either, he just couldn't stomach it so he didn't know of the variety of food the complex had to offer. But the beauty and wellbeing treatments were exceptional. On the day he'd arrived he'd requested an Indian head massage which went a long way to soothing his temples and drawing out the anxiety that had been swirling around his head since the previous night. He'd even experimented the more new age healing methods such as Cupping and meditation. Yet nothing truly took away the empty void that remained in his heart, but for the duration of the treatment at least, they helped him recover and forget the issues that still troubled him and the insuppressible longing that was growing with every day that passed.

* * *

He lay on the massage table enjoying the soothing music that filled the room. Despite him still being in his own villa, it had its own private treatment room which was identical to those that existed in the main building of the hotel. Ten minutes prior to his appointment time, the therapist would prepare the room, laying out towels and oils, lighting candles and turning on music before leaving allowing Gouenji to enter the room and position himself ready for their return.

He laid face down with his arms by his side and his head resting on the specially designed table which had a cut out hole on the cushioned pillow to rest your face. The door opened and the masseuse entered. A hint of sandalwood tickled Gouenji's nose and he sighed. How typical. The warm, woody scent was the one he associated with the very person he was trying to forget. But it washed over him when he felt the warm hands of the masseuse raise his right foot and begin the massage, pushing their thumbs into his instep and eliminating the aches that lingered from his early morning run.

After repeating the process with his left foot, he felt the hands stroke his legs, adding less pressure than used on his feet at first before kneading his muscles, leaving them fluid. He felt the hands slowly move to his buttocks, massaging them gently, slowly opening them and exposing him fully. He'd not realised that a full body massage meant just that but it felt so nice he was in no mind to question the process.

As the masseuse made their way up his back and across his shoulders, Gouenji couldn't stop his relaxed mind from wondering how much of a full massage the front of his body would receive. He could feel himself getting hard yet no matter how much he tried, his mind kept returning to the overflowing feelings connected with having his behind fondled in such an erotic way. This was going to be embarrassing.

"Please turn over so I can work on your front."

Gouenji's eyes shot open. That voice. It was…. Surely not!

He turned over slowly and there, stood beside his table, wearing the badged hotel uniform of polo shirt and shorts, was Kidou. So it had been him all along from that very moment Gouenji had smelt the sandalwood.

"Kidou! What are you doing here? How did you get in my room?"

"You are a hard man to catch, Gouenji Shuuya. It's taken me a full week to track you down. I arrived here as a guest myself last night and while I was wondering how to gain access to your private grounds, I overheard some staff talking about your appointment today so I stepped in and made them an offer they couldn't refuse. It really is amazing what people will do for money. So here I am and looking at you, you're ready for me too."

Kidou's eyes fell to Gouenji's erection and he licked his lips in anticipation.

"Now lie back please, Mr Gouenji. I haven't completed your treatment yet and this next technique will make you fully relaxed and completely satisfied."

Gouenji watched dumbfounded as Kidou sprung onto the treatment table like something feline. Resting on his knees positioned either side of Gouenji's legs, Kidou took him whole inside his mouth. Gouenji groaned and instinctively tried to thrust himself in even further. It felt so good. He'd missed this.

Kidou slowly begun moving his mouth up and down Gouenji's shaft, his tongue dragging along the sensitive underside sending his friend into raptures. All the while his hand cupped Gouenji's balls, pulling them slightly and overwhelming him with an erotic assault. Gouenji slid in and out of Kidou's mouth easily and growled in frustration whenever Kidou held his hips and concentrated only on the head of his penis.

What had he been thinking? How on earth could he have contemplated cutting this exceptional man from his life? If Kidou wanted him to get a tattoo claiming to belong to him then he would, so long as these sorts of situations continued to take place. And Kidou had spent a full week trying to find him. Surely that proved that he himself was more than a quick shag didn't it?

He was close now. He could feel everything tightening ready for that glorious moment when everything would erupt. He wished he could prolong the event somehow but Kidou was too skilful, he knew exactly which buttons to press to make Gouenji putty in his hands.

"Ki-Kidou. I'm close. Ah….you need to…..uh….pull out now. It's coming…..I'm…."

He felt Kidou smile around him but instead of pulling away as usual, he moved his head lower, taking Gouenji further down his throat than he had ever been before. That was all it took. Gouenji saw stars as he emptied himself inside Kidou's warm mouth and Kidou greedily drank the lot.

Gouenji opened his eyes and stared unseeing into the darkness. Since when did it get so dark? Why is it so dark? And where is Kidou? As his brain started functioning he realised that he was not on a treatment table but in bed. It was dark because it was the middle of the night. And Kidou was nowhere to be seen because he was never here to begin with. It was all a dream. Or should that be a nightmare?

He rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. Why? Why did he have to think about Kidou now? And why was it set in real time instead of that crazy world that made it obvious it was just a dream? Had Kidou come searching for him on the back of a unicorn he'd have known it wasn't real. But... but...the fact that Kidou had spent a full week looking for him and the lengths he went to in order to get to him should have been proof enough that it wasn't real, if truth be told.

Gouenji sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. He picked up his phone. There was still messages appearing from Kidou from time to time. Most of them he didn't read, couldn't read but now he felt like he was actually going insane. That night when he last saw Kidou he'd wanted commitment above everything and now here he was, miles away from home, hiding from the man and ignoring his messages like a sulky teenager. Just because Kidou had behaved unforgivably, didn't mean that he should too.

* * *

Kidou,

I am sorry it has taken me so long to reply. I was mad at you and also myself for allowing it to happen. I am fine now and am trying to move on with my life. I am not in Tokyo and probably won't return for at least another week. I felt I owed you this explanation.

Gouenji

* * *

He re-read the message and his finger hovered around the send button before deleting it and turning off his phone. He couldn't do it. He wasn't ready to forgive Kidou for his actions.

Not yet….


	3. Kidou

**Hi everyone. **

**Two new chapters at once, I'm on a roll (but they are short, unlike Gouenji's chapter)! Actually, I say everyone but I think it's only Angel and Seiren are reading this anyway so yeah. Hi you two.**

**Bambina - I hope I don't screw Fudou up for you and you like my version of him. As always he is the voice of reason to Kidou (and also Devil's Advocate). And thanks to our Twitter chats the other day his role has slightly shifted (yeah, keep pretending that there was ever structure to this story, Heather. Hah!).**

**Seiren - I'm trying to make Kidou be a complete dick but whatever I make him do you keep swooning over him and loving him more. I'm sure that wasn't meant to happen (and I'm certain these chapters won't change your mind either. Wow, I'm such a successful writer aren't I? Literally winning over none of my readers, you all keep being in love with Kidou and aren't taking Gouenji's side. Hahahah!)  
**

**Oh look I'm derailing this little bit now as well, typical!**

**Please enjoy it everyone. Feel free to leave reviews and give me ideas because honestly, I'm easily corrupted (๑・ω-)**

* * *

"Hello! Earth to Kidou! Come in, do you read me?"

"Eh, what? Did you say something?"

Kidou was sat in the bar of a hotel with Fudou, his date for the evening. Only his heart wasn't in it and every so often his mind would wander, wondering where it was that Gouenji had disappeared to. In all the years Kidou had known him he could only recall of one time he'd just left without informing anyone of his whereabouts. But that had been different. He'd done it to protect soccer and also his friends. He'd known then what he was doing had a potentially catastrophic outcome and did not want his friends to lose their future as he suspected he was going to. He'd deliberately deceived them then but Kidou didn't get the same impression this time. Was he being deceived? Gouenji had walked out on him and effectively terminated their friendship and therefore was under no obligation to inform Kidou of his movements any more. But Kidou wasn't satisfied with that. He wanted answers. He needed answers.

"I have to say, you're always a pretty lousy date anyway but right now you're taking the fucking biscuit."

"Sorry?"

"What the fuck is up with you Kidou. Normally 30 minutes into a date you're trying to screw me in the toilets but you've barely said a word since I got here and you keep fucking spacing out when I try to talk to you."

"I'm sorry. I've a lot on my mind right now"

"So are you going to tell me about it or shall I just go home now? Because to be honest, I'd have more fun sticking pins up my arse than sat here with you like this. And it wouldn't be as painful either."

"Have you heard from Gouenji at all lately?"

"Gouenji? Why? What did you do to him Kidou?"

"Nothing. He just walked out on me a few weeks ago and he's gone to ground ever since"

"Fuck off! That's not the full truth and you fucking know it. What did you do?"

"I bought him a present but he said he didn't want it and left. Why would he do that?"

Fudou rubbed his hand over his face in irritation. He'd always been the one to be accused of being childish and immature but right now, getting the truth out of Kidou was like getting an 8 year old to explain quantum physics.

"Listen up you fucktard. Gouenji is not the kind to walk out unless there is sufficient reason to do so. And even then he normally stays. So I'll ask you again, what did you do to him?"

"I accidentally gave him a love bite on his neck and he didn't like it."

Fudou laughed so much he almost fell off his bar stool and earned a disapproving "shh" from a group of elderly ladies sat at a nearby table enjoying cream tea. He winked at them and gave them a wave, resulting in a collective tutting from their table.

"Oh Kidou, you're fucking priceless, do you know that? How can you accidentally give someone a love bite? Were you dying and gasping for breath and his neck just happened to get in the way as you breathed in through your mouth? You can't accidentally give someone a love bite you fucking plank. Either you deliberately did it or you're a fucking liar."

Kidou took in a deep breath and sighed. "I did it. I just wanted everyone to know he was mine."

Fudou instantly sobered and stared at his friend. It would have been easy to make a snarky comment but all of a sudden, it didn't seem appropriate. Although in reality, that had never stopped him before.

"Kidou. That was a really stupid and childish thing to do. Especially to someone in his position. If you wanted him to be yours you should have just proposed to him and gave him a ring so everyone would know."

"But I don't want to marry him. I don't want to marry anyone."

"Well that's okay then because he doesn't fucking want to marry you either now you fucking halfwit. Although, I have to say, he was looking fucking hot when I saw him yesterday. I wouldn't have minded bending him over his desk myself and giving him one."

"You saw him? You actually mean to say that you let me confess all that to you when all the while you knew he was safe and well? You bastard Fudou."

"Oi oi, don't play the fucking martyr with me Kidou. You're the one who's being a bastard here, not me. But it does make sense on why he kept touching his neck all the time. I thought he was just a bit warm."

"How was he?"

"He was fine. As I said, he was looking really hot and had you not been sat here with a face like a wet weekend then I'd have never known anything was wrong."

"Are you seeing him again?"

"Well yeah. Technically he's my boss now as I'm the new assistant coach of Inazuma Japan."

"You are? Well congratulations. When are you seeing him again?"

"Friday"

"Tell him I was asking about him will you?"

"Sure, whatever you say."

With that, Kidou stood up and looked at the group of ladies at the next table who had gone back to their conversations after their reprimanding of Fudou. He smiled at them and blew them a kiss before grabbing Fudou and taking him in a rough kiss, practically ramming his tongue down the other man's throat in front of the whole bar.

"Come on. We're going back to my place. I want you naked so I can spend all night screwing you senseless" Kidou ordered while dragging Fudou off the seat and out the door.

"But….but…What about Gouenji?"

"What about him?"

And with that, Fudou was bundled into a waiting cab, ready to take them both to Kidou's house.


	4. Revenge?

"Are you sure this will work Fudou?"

"Trust me, it can't fail. Now you're certain you want to go through with this because once he sees us together he'll go fucking bald."

"I'm certain. And it'll serve him right. It's about time he had a new haircut anyway so let's help him along. But what about you? I know you see him too. Won't it upset you too?"

"Gouenji, I like him, I won't deny that. He's a fucking great shag but there's only so many times I can lie there pretending not to be upset as he shouts "oh Shuuya" as he's emptying his load into me. He deserves a fucking wake up call that fucker."

"No! He didn't do that surely. You've got to be kidding me."

"He's done it three times to me now and that last time I spent the full night with him and he only fucking dreamt of you as well. Begging you to take him back he was. Little fucking shit. Talk about killing the mood."

Gouenji looked at the floor and sighed. Through his own actions he was making both Kidou and Fudou suffer as well as himself. "I'm sorry Fudou. No one should have to listen to that."

Fudou looked at the man stood next to him. His shoulders were hunched and he looked totally dejected. Was Gouenji always this affected by things he couldn't influence but felt responsible for? Or was this all down to the actions of Kidou yet again? Just because Kidou was a tosspot doesn't mean it was Gouenji's decisions and actions that caused him to behave in such a way. The man was a dick full stop. Albeit a charismatic, handsome dick. Fudou felt bad for Kidou and Gouenji. They were both equally as miserable as each other and not for the first time did Fudou ponder the thought that maybe there was a future for the pair of them after all, even if they weren't aware of it yet.

"Come on, let's go in, he'll be here soon."

Fudou had hatched a plan to take Gouenji out for dinner at Kidou's favourite restaurant. Thankfully Kidou was the type to have a preferred table so when Fudou booked the secluded corner booth for he and Gouenji, he knew that only Kidou would be able to see them in there without them being visible to the rest of the restaurant patrons. And since today was Haruna's birthday, Fudou was 100% certain that Kidou would make an appearance tonight.

They had finished ordering their food and had just begun drinking a bottle of champagne when he arrived. 8.30 on the dot precisely. Fudou laughed to himself, Kidou was just so fucking predictable at times he was almost a parody of himself.

Fudou's plan had been that they would have dinner but make sure they finished before Kidou and would happen to "accidentally" bump into his table as they left the restaurant hand in hand. That's what he told Gouenji anyway. Secretly he wanted to spice the evening up a bit more than that.

Slowly he removed his foot from his shoe and raised it so he could rub Gouenji's crotch with his toes. Once he connected his foot with its target he started to move it in slow, teasing circles, bringing Gouenji to life.

"Fudou! I…"

"Shhh….don't say any more. He'll have heard you now and will be watching. Just sit back and enjoy it."

Gouenji closed his eyes and smiled. This was quite the surprise but one that felt good nonetheless. He reached his hand out to touch Fudou's mouth in return and slowly ran his finger along his bottom lip before gently probing for entry inside.

"Gouenji, I want you to get that finger out my mouth this minute." Fudou said slightly awkwardly considering there was a foreign object in his mouth after all.

"Oh?" Gouenji removed his hand, slightly taken aback at Fudou's instruction.

"And now it's out you'd better come and replace it with your tongue." Fudou added with a malicious smirk on his face, licking his lips once he'd spoken.

"I can do that."

Gently removing Fudou's foot from his crotch, Gouenji stood up and walked round the booth to sit on the couch alongside Fudou. He leaned over and captured the brunette's lips with his own, one hand gently returning the favour of massaging his crotch while the other hand knotted in his long, soft hair. His kiss was slow, designed to derail every single one of Fudou's senses yet Gouenji also took great relief from the knowledge that no one in the restaurant, save Kidou, could see what he was doing. He might be confident but he certainly wasn't that bold.

Fudou on the other hand did not care who saw them whatsoever. Yes, this plan had been hatched to make Kidou jealous and to teach him a lesson about his own behaviour, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to enjoy himself at the same time. He snaked his arm around Gouenji's back and pushed his hand up the back of his shirt. Gouenji's skin was warm to the touch and he wondered how it would feel running his tongue over it. He broke their kiss.

"Fuck me Gouenji" His voice was louder than it should have been. Loud enough so that a certain brunette would hear.

"What? Here?"

"No. Yes. Anywhere. Shit, I don't care where you do it, so long as you do it. And you do it hard. Come on, let's pay up and go."

Gouenji smiled. He'd not expected this at all. They were only meant to be teasing weren't they? But it didn't matter, it had been a while since he was as turned on like he was now. He couldn't remember a time when someone seemingly desired him this much and he didn't care that it was probably only part of Fudou's plan. Fudou sounded like it was him and only him that he wanted rather than one of many choices like he often felt with Kidou.

"Waiter!"

Gouenji quickly paid in full after creating some excuse about an emergency and having to depart immediately. As he walked away from their table he felt a hand grab his wrist and pull him back.

Kidou.

"Gouenji."

"Kidou."

"You look good, really good. How have you been?"

"Oh you know…depressed, heartbroken, violated, defaced. Same old, same old."

Kidou stood up and removed his glasses, looking Gouenji in the eyes, never releasing his grip but moving his hand so it cupped Gouenji's own.

"I'm sorry Shuuya. I really am. If I could change the events of that night I would. I never meant to hurt you. I only want to make you happy."

"I know"

"You didn't return my calls or messages."

"No."

"Are you still mad at me?"

"No, not any more. I can't deny that it still hurts but you know what they say, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. And I'm not dead."

"Shubby….are you coming? Remember the emergency?" Fudou's voice bellowed through the restaurant, shattering any privacy the corner once held.

"Shubby?" Kidou quirked an eyebrow while trying to keep his voice impassive and not show his increasing jealousy.

"Heh, yeah. He said I'd make the perfect husband and it quickly went from Shuuya husband to Shuuya hubby to Shubby. It's kinda cute I guess. Anyway, I have to go, we have an emergency it seems."

And with that he slipped his hand from Kidou's, patted his former friend on his shoulder and departed with a quick "See ya!"

And then he was gone and Kidou no longer had the appetite for food.


	5. Forgiveness?

**I'm on a roll people so here's another chapter, yay!**

**Thank you everyone for the reviews, I do love to read them and get inspiration from your thoughts.**

**Fudou is here again so watch out for lots of swearing hah! And just in case you weren't aware (because maybe it's not so clear, Gouenji is at work, sat at his desk).**

**Please enjoy :3**

* * *

Gouenji looked at the card in front of him and smiled. It wasn't the picture on the front that made him grin however, even though the cartoon penguin holding a suitcase was adorable. It was the written content that held his attention.

_"My eyes are red,_

_But I am blue,_

_I'm going to Paris this weekend,_

_And I want you to come too"_

_Please say yes._

_Yuuto x_

It was the lamest verse he had ever read and yet it made his heart beat just that little faster every time he read it. He'd called himself Yuuto. Gouenji couldn't ever remember a time when he'd asked him to call him anything other than Kidou. It was unexpected but touching at the same time.

Then there were the tickets that fell out of the envelope as he opened it. A first class return to Paris Charles de Gaulle airport departing in three days. Kidou had purchased them in the hope that he'd say yes. Had they appeared alone, Gouenji might have been irritated by them and Kidou's presumption that he would just drop everything and go, but the card altered that train of thought. While not actually saying much, Gouenji knew that the decision was his alone, and that Kidou would not try to influence him in any way. He could almost feel Kidou's hope emitting from the paper. Weak hope that knew the request would be rejected, that he did not deserve it to be accepted.

A knock at the door stirred Gouenji from his musings.

"Yes. Come in."

The door opened and Gouenji's smile grew. It was Fudou.

"Yo boss, how's it hanging?"

"Good thanks. Grab a chair and sit down. And stop calling me boss you idiot."

"Yeah, whatever. Hey, what you got there?"

Fudou gestured towards the card which Gouenji handed to him. He read it and let out a little snigger before speaking.

"What a fucking weenie! Did he write this on the toilet? It's so bloody cheesy the fucking muppet."

"I know, right? But still…"

Gouenji passed over the flight tickets and studied his friend as he read them.

"First class? Wow. He's really ramped up the seduction campaign hasn't he? Do you want to go?"

Gouenji broke their eye contact and looked at his hands resting on his desktop. Taking a deep breath he looked Fudou in the eyes once more.

"Would you think less of me if I said yes?"

"Why would I think that? Of course I wouldn't think less of you. I don't think that highly of you to start with." He stuck out his tongue and winked ensuring that Gouenji knew the last part was just a joke.

"It's just after everything that happened you might have thought I was falling back into bad habits."

"You're not a fucking drug addict you know. All you did was fall in love with a fucking arsehole."

Gouenji smiled weakly and stood up. He placed his right hand over his heart as if to swear his allegiance.

"My name is Gouenji Shuuya and I am a Kidouholic. I am 45 days clean."

Fudou roared with laughter before standing up himself.

"My name is Fudou Akio and I am also a Kidouholic. I am not clean at all for I am truly soiled by his filthy hands. Dirty bastard that he is."

They both laughed before returning to their seats. Gouenji wiped the tears in his eyes with his fingers.

"You're going to have to stop coming here, I'm trying to work and right now I haven't a clue what I'm supposed to be doing today."

"Ah but you love my visits Shubby. I'm the only person who'll tell it like it is. Everyone else treats you like some kind of god."

"What are you talking about? I am a god and you are my underling!"

"Was that supposed to be a chat up line? Because if it was it was fucking shite. There's no wonder you're single."

"You don't want to be under me then?"

"No. I wouldn't touch you with a bargepole mate. You're fucking rank."

"Thanks, you're pretty shit yourself!"

They laughed once again. Gouenji had seen a lot of Fudou in the weeks that had passed since that night in the restaurant. Their friendship had grown through their mutual experiences with Kidou but now he was just a small link in the chain. Gouenji was used to Fudou's insults and could throw them back equally as well with the knowledge that neither would take offence by what was said. But friendship was all it would ever be, neither of them could see any future as a couple and so, with the exception of that kiss in the restaurant and a night of frantic, carnal, post break-up sex that followed, their relationship was purely platonic.

"So, when are you going to tell him yes?" Fudou was serious again.

"I can't. Paris is too far away and it's impossible to get time off work. I've only just returned from a two week holiday as it is."

"That was no holiday Gouenji. You had a complete nervous breakdown."

"Did I? Or did I just overreact like some silly lovesick teenage girl?"

"Shuuya. Look at me. You did not overreact. Get it? Granted, if it had been an isolated case it might have been different but you were overworked, lacking sleep and to top it all, caught up in a relationship that bordered on mental abuse. That just happened to be the final straw."

"So why do I want to be with him again? I don't understand myself at times. To him I've walked away and have moved on with my life when in reality, I'm a mess. If I have to speak to him I keep my words few otherwise I'll end up begging him to take me back. And as much as my heart wants that it'd probably be disastrous for my well being."

"He misses you too you know. Would it make you feel any better to know he's not slept with anyone in three weeks, pretty much since you got back from the spa in fact."

"You're kidding me. Not even you?"

"He doesn't want me, he never did. Which is fine because I only wanted him for the sex as well. I wasn't ever in love with him. But you hurt him in walking out on him Shuuya. He tried to carry on as normal, shagging around but he couldn't do it, you were always on his mind and, well, you know what happened with me, crying out your name. So for what it's worth, he's not the same man you left and if you were to get back with him then I think it would be different. But, you need to stay as you are now. If you revert to that Gouenji who went along with whatever he told you to, then it wouldn't work. You'd have to be able to tell him what you wanted, take the lead from time to time and maybe arrange dates yourself instead of waiting for him to tell you when he was free. This has to be a two way street. But most of all, if the only way you will return to him is for you and he to be proper boyfriends then you have to tell him before it goes any further. Lay down the rules and make him stick to them."

"I don't know….but regardless of that, it still doesn't make accepting his offer of a weekend in Paris any more plausible does it?"

"Actually it does. Because I knew what he was planning and the dates he was proposing for the trip. So, after a short discussion with your boss, Mr Nakamura, I've arranged it all. You've got two more days at work before having a day off to pack and then you're jetting off to the city of love with Mr Hotshot Loverboy himself. Now who's the underling in this relationship?"

Gouenji felt the tears in his eyes again, only this time they weren't tears of laughter. He couldn't believe that Fudou would go to the trouble of organising it all just for him. At one time in their lives everyone hated Fudou and couldn't trust him, but now, he was pretty much turning into the best friend that Gouenji ever had. No one had looked after him the way Fudou did and what made it all the more astounding was that he never expected anything in return.

"Oi Gouenji! For once in your life just fucking do something for yourself okay? Right now I can see your brain working, wondering if you really deserve all this to be happening to you but more so, what you can do to return the favour. Put yourself first. If you want to go then go. If you don't want to go then don't. It's as simple as that. You won't let anyone down either way. You've spent your whole life doing things for the benefit of others, even at the cost of your own happiness. So right now you do what you, Gouenji Shuuya wants. Not what Kidou Yuuto wants, not what makes Fudou Akio the happiest and not what is the least troubling to Mr Nakamura. Do what you, Gouenji Shuuya wants and nothing else. You got that, shit for brains?"

Gouenji gave a mock salute "Yes sir! Reading you loud and clear!"

"Good. So are you going?"

"You try and stop me."


	6. Bon Voyage

**Hi everyone!**

**Back to writing properly after that pile of nonsense that appeared on Sunday. Not a moustache in sight thank goodness.**

**So, it's the day of the flight to Paris and Kidou is waiting for Gouenji to arrive. It's a long chapter and quite sad in places but things need to be said so they can move forward with their lives.**

**Thank you all for your reviews, I love to hear your reactions to the story (it's only a matter of time before I get hit with a bill off Seiren though for causing her to spit ****drinks all over her computer every time she reads a new chapter).**

**And Bambina, I keep thinking of the reward Fudou will expect if Gouenji and Kidou get together properly (friends with benefits?)**

**Enjoy it and if I don't make you want to give Gouenji at least one hug during this chapter then really I am a lousy writer ;P**

* * *

This was bad. This was really bad. Kidou paced the floor like a caged animal. The plane was boarding and as yet there was no sign of Gouenji. No word from him at all.

"Would passenger Kidou Yuuto travelling on flight AC933 to Paris Charles de Gaulle please go to Gate 35? Your plane is boarding now."

He was already at Gate 35 though, but he did not get on the plane. Would not get on the plane. Not until he'd arrived. But was he even coming? He'd heard his own name over the tannoy system three times now but not Gouenji's which could only mean one thing. He hadn't checked in.

Gouenji had said yes to the invitation. Kidou had been surprised that day when he walked into his office at Teikoku to find a chocolate football on his desk. He wasn't sure what it was at first but written on the front of the ball in large white icing was the word "Yes" and instantly Kidou knew who it was from. His heart felt like it was going to burst from his chest with happiness. The days that followed passed so slowly. He'd waited for so long for this day to come and yet now his hope was trickling away like water down the drain.

He rang Gouenji's mobile phone but he didn't pick up. He said he'd be here though. Kidou didn't think that Gouenji would be malicious enough to leave him here alone but then, how well do you even know a person? Fudou confirmed that Gouenji had agreed to come also, but those two were so close nowadays that Fudou could easily have been lying. But Fudou had helped Kidou set this trip up and was the one to secure Gouenji's time off work before Kidou presented him with the request, so it really didn't seem likely that he would deliberately try to deceive him either.

Kidou regretted that if he wasn't to get on the plane then his luggage would need to be removed from onboard which would in turn delay the flight. And considering the flight was already in excess of 13 hours long, even 10 minutes added to the journey made a difference. All those passengers who were already sat ready to leave would suffer. But, he would have to face the truth that Gouenji would not be arriving and this was his revenge. He knew how punctual Kidou was regarding everything and to leave him stood waiting for him and never show would be the most effective payback. It would hurt him far more than shredding his suits.

* * *

Gouenji looked at his watch and then returned his gaze back to the view from the window. He had just ten minutes left and the airport was still a good five minutes away. Why was the traffic still busy at this hour? It was nearly 9pm, surely all the commuters would be home by now?

He'd had everything ready from the day he received the card and tickets. He'd packed all the clothes he wanted to take and toiletries and the like, and had even picked up some Euros on the way home from work. It was all laid out so that, come this evening, he could just pick everything up and go.

The taxi arrived in time and they set off. While the traffic was busy, full of people returning home from work, he had factored it into the journey time. He would have plenty of time to arrive, check in and then go and have a beer before his flight departed. What he hadn't planned on was leaving his passport at home.

He'd reached for it in his jacket pocket as they'd approached the airport but, to his horror, found only his tickets. He'd turned his travel bag out on the back seat of the taxi but it wasn't there. Dismayed and panicked he'd instructed the driver to turn around and drive him back home to retrieve it, cursing that modern technology could not bypass the document in favour of fingerprinting or iris scanning.

The journey home and back had taken one and a half hours and now he wondered if he would even make it to the check in desk on time. He couldn't find his phone either so ringing Kidou to alert him of this unfortunate development was also out of the question. He hoped it was in his bag that sat in the boot of the car but he did not have time to spare to instruct the driver to pull over so he could check or to return home yet again should it be there. This was not going as planned at all.

* * *

Ten minutes to go. Still pacing Kidou grew ever anxious. Now that no one stood waiting, he'd asked the steward at the boarding gate if it was possible to find out if Gouenji had checked in but he wouldn't divulge such information. Kidou wished now that he'd hired that private jet as was his original plan. Fudou was the one to dissuade him, saying it was too flashy and would probably make Gouenji apprehensive. On a regular flight with other passengers, the trip would be less invasive. That hadn't stopped Kidou from block booking every seat in First Class though, ensuring their privacy. But was it all going to be for naught?

* * *

Gouenji thrust a pile of money into the hand of the taxi driver and sped off towards the check in desk. He inwardly praised Kidou for buying First Class tickets since that desk had no queue meaning he went straight to the front.

"Good Evening sir. What flight are you on tonight?"

"Um…AC933, Paris Charles de Gaulle"

"Thank you. Sir, did you pack all your bags yourself? Has your luggage been in your possession at all times? And has anyone asked you to carry anything for them?"

"Yes, yes, no"

"Thank you. Here is your boarding card. You need to hurry and get to Gate 35 immediately as boarding is nearly finished. You were meant to check in 2 hours ago sir."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'd just got here when I realised I'd forgotten my passport."

"It happens to the best of us sir. Enjoy your flight."

Gouenji took off running as fast as he could. Marvelling that First Class tickets could fast track through their own security and passport control gate, it wasn't long until he reached the main shopping concourse. Quickly checking the signs he took a sharp left and sprinted down the corridor to where the gate was. He could hardly breathe but there was no way he was going to let this flight leave without him.

* * *

"Sir if you are flying with us today then you must get on the aeroplane now. I am about to close the gate."

Kidou sighed. So that was it. He really was a no show. He should have expected it really but the sorrow that tore through his heart at that moment was unimaginable. As he turned to walk away and make his way out of the departure lounge something caught his eye. Passengers were quickly moving to the side of the walkway creating a path. And in the middle of that path was a blur of blonde making its way quickly towards him.

Gouenji!

He came!

He actually came!

"Hold the gate! The passenger I've been waiting for is here."

The steward scowled at him and glared in Gouenji's direction, unamused at his timekeeping.

"Hi!" Was all Gouenji managed to say in between huge gasps of breath.

"Come on, you're late! They've been wanting to close the gate for ages."

Kidou grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him towards the gate. Taking his passport and tickets, Kidou handed them to the steward who scanned them in before returning them. As the pair ran down the jet bridge to board the plane, Kidou was certain he heard the steward mutter "Bloody rich people. Pain in the backside the lot of them." He smiled. It was finally going to be okay.

Onboard the stewardess directed them to their seats, situated in the middle of the cabin.

"That's weird, there's no one else here." Gouenji mused as he put his coat in the overhead locker.

"Looks like we get the place to ourselves then." Kidou responded, his eyes glinting with mischief.

"Did you have anything to do with this per chance?"

"Might have done."

"Sir please take your seat, we are about to start taxiing and you need to get your seatbelt on." The stewardess instructed, irritation in her voice. Not only were they late but now they were taking too long to get to their seats so the plane could begin its journey.

"Sorry" replied Gouenji sheepishly as he took his seat and fixed the seatbelt around his waist. He turned to face Kidou.

"I'm sorry for being late."

"You're always late! I wouldn't expect anything less from you."

"How rude! No, seriously, I am. I'd just got to the airport when I realised I'd left my passport at home. And I haven't a clue where my phone has got to which is why I didn't call you."

"I thought you'd deserted me." Kidou's word were light hearted but they held an edge of sorrow.

"I'm sorry. Please accept my apology."

With that Gouenji took hold of Kidou's chin and pressed their lips together. He parted Kidou's mouth with his tongue and slowly began to explore the depths within. Kidou momentarily froze with shock. He'd wondered how quickly he should take things but it seemed that Gouenji was going to lead the way and direct him for once.

"Ahem!"

They were interrupted by the stewardess yet again who was none too pleased that they were ignoring her safety display and seeing that they were the only people in first class, they couldn't even hide behind anyone else. So like naughty school children they had to sit and pay attention.

"You are so bad Shuuya" Hissed Kidou quietly. "She is going to give you a good spanking for your behaviour so far."

"Oh? You think so? Is that the kind of service First Class offers you then? I had no idea. I may have to travel this way all the time from now on."

* * *

They sat attentive while the stewardess finished the safety demonstration, never daring to deviate their attention anywhere else.

"Cabin crew prepare for take off."

The stewardess returned to her seat and the lights dimmed as the aeroplane made its way onto the runway. Once more Gouenji turned to Kidou.

"So, when do I get a good spanking then?"

"You don't. Not now not ever. I'll never hurt you again Shuuya. I promise you."

Gouenji was taken aback. There was pain etched in Kidou's face as he spoke. The pain of loss and desperation, not the pain of regret of what could not be ever again.

"Kidou, you…"

"Please, call me Yuuto. I'd like you to."

"Yuuto." Gouenji started and picked up Kidou's hand with his own, gently rubbing the back of it with his thumb. "Yuuto. You don't have to baby me or wrap me in cotton wool you know. I'm perfectly happy to indulge in a little rough play and punishment. It's fine."

"I hurt you though. I forced you and you left me. I wasn't even aware of how much you meant to me until that very moment. And I never want to experience it again."

"But don't you see? You've just said it yourself. You forced me. I didn't want it to happen but you ignored my cries to stop and you kept on going. That is why I left. Not because you wanted to spank me. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I do. And since I've never properly said it to your face, I want to apologise. I'm sorry Shuuya. I was a prize dick that night and I treated you no better than a cheap tart. I've never behaved like that with anyone before and I swear to you, I won't ever do it again."

The pain in his crimson eyes was raw. There was to be no doubt that Kidou's words were the honest truth.

"Out of curiosity, and because it will help me to put this behind us and move forward, why did you do it?"

Kidou sighed and looked at his hand. He watched Gouenji's thumb travel around it in a circular motion. It was as soothing to watch as it was to the touch.

"I don't know. I really don't know. I was wanting to keep you immobile so I could bring you to the edge of ecstasy without allowing you to fully submit to the pleasure until I decided to let you. But the feel of my mouth on your neck and the way you jumped and moaned underneath my touch drove me wild. At that moment I wanted to make you mine. I didn't want anyone at all to have you and like some fucking brainless teenager I thought marking you would keep other people away from you. I also had this stupid vision that you would willingly show that mark to people, proudly if you will, saying I did it, as if it proclaimed you as my mate. I didn't hear you shouting to stop. I was fuelled by my idiotic desire that you would be happy that I'd chosen you. I just didn't hear. I wanted you so much but then you left. Out of my house and out of my life. I just never heard you."

Gouenji shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He wanted to hold Kidou and tell him it was okay and to forget it but he remembered Fudou's warning of not reverting back to the old Gouenji. A Gouenji who would go along with whatever it was that Kidou wanted to do. A Gouenji who would probably end up in the same situation sooner or later. He opened his eyes and studied Kidou's face. It held a myriad of emotions; sadness, pain, regret, anguish. He knew the words spoken were the truth but it still didn't alter the fact that his actions that night weren't right.

"I kind of understand what made you do it Kidou, sorry Yuuto. Heh, it's going to take me a while to get used to calling you that. But the fact you wanted to mark your territory by force worried me. Still worries me a little if I am truthful. But the thing that upset me the most was the proclamation that while I was fully yours, you did not feel the same and in no uncertain terms said that you didn't belong to me. It made me feel cheap. And in those empty nights that followed, nights when I wanted to call you just to hear your voice, and hope you'd invite me over, I had to force myself to remember that you made me feel like I was worthless and that I was just an object you could do with as you pleased. I've never felt that bad in my life. Never. Not when Mum died, not when Yuuka was in a coma. Not even when I was deliberately betraying you all to try and stop the destruction of soccer. You made me feel like I was little more than a whore. You did that Kidou. The person I loved more than anyone else in the world. I would have done anything for you and that is how you treated me. Can you see how bad it was? How it made me feel?"

He was getting hysterical now. His voice got higher and louder and tears pooled in his eyes. Yet he couldn't stop himself, it had to be said. And the more he tried to calm down the more emotional he became.

Kidou slipped his hand from Gouenji's and raised it to his face to wipe away a stray tear that ran down his cheek. His other hand reached into his silky blonde hair and began stroking it in the hope it would reassure and calm him.

"Words are not enough at a time like this I know. It's too easy to say 'I'm sorry' and not fully mean it. But the fact that you're here at all fills me with a glimmer of hope, that you at least want to spend some time with me. I don't expect your forgiveness because I haven't earned it but I am going to do my very best to treat you in a manner you deserve. If you're willing to let me try that is. If you don't want me in your life then I will leave you alone and will never contact you again. I promise, I will never ever hurt you again, emotionally or physically."

"Ki…Yuuto. I don't want you out of my life forever. Why else do you think I'm here? I just wanted you to know how I felt because if you didn't, then it would only be a matter of time before something else happened which would blow us apart. And I don't want that. Not at all. Friends?" He held out his hand gesturing for it to be shaken as a sign of agreement.

"Friends." Kidou replied, taking Gouenji's hand and kissing the back of it before adding "now then, I do believe we were in the middle of something before we were disturbed by that safety demonstration."

He leaned forward and gently kissed Gouenji's lips. Gouenji responded cautiously at first but soon found his rhythm, placing his free hand in Kidou's hair and knotting it through his fingers. After a few minutes he broke the kiss.

"Say, are you a member of the Mile High club Yuuto?"

"No. Of course not."

"Would you like to be?"


	7. Paris

**Hello everyone. This took much longer for me to write than I expected (~_~;)**

**The path to true love is not an easy one, especially for Gouenji and Kidou but now that they've arrived in Paris it's all going to be okay isn't it?**

**There is a scene of a sexual nature in this chapter so please be aware before reading it. **

**I hope you enjoy it. Thank you as always for your reviews, it really makes the difference reading them.**

* * *

It was early morning local time as they arrived in Paris. The flight had been uneventful and both had managed to catch a little sleep on the way. The airport was quiet so getting through passport control and baggage reclaim proved to be effortless and quick. They barely spoke to one another, Gouenji was still sleepy and Kidou focused on getting them to the hotel promptly. He spotted his name on a card held aloft by the pre-booked taxi driver and guided Gouenji towards the car.

In less than half an hour they stepped out of the taxi into the cool Paris night. The hotel Kidou had chosen was a sumptuous, five star building, close to the Champs Elysees. They were the only people in the foyer so checking in and finding their room took no time at all. He'd booked a Presidential suite in the hope of making a good impression on his friend.

Gouenji was mesmerised. He'd stayed in some spectacular hotels in his life but this one was exquisite. Everything about it oozed class from its Art Nouveau furniture to the chandeliers that hung grandly from the ceiling. Standing in the main sitting area, Gouenji could see various doors leading to other rooms; bedrooms and bathrooms he presumed. Just as he'd decided to go and take a look, Kidou appeared beside him and took hold of his hand, taking him through a door into a very decadent bedroom. The focal point was a large four poster bed also in the Art Nouveau style. The warm wooden frame swirled overhead making the bed look as if it was made of actual living trees and not just their timber.

"This will be your room Shuuya. There is an en-suite bathroom through there and plenty of wardrobe space to hang your clothes. My bedroom is on the opposite side of the sitting room to this one. I'm going to go and take a shower now and will probably try to sleep some more. I suggest you do the same and then later we can go out and start to explore the city. See you in a while."

Gouenji stood dumbfounded and watched Kidou make to leave the room. He had heard right hadn't he? Kidou definitely said this was his bedroom and not theirs. He lunged at Kidou, grabbing his wrist and throwing him back onto the bed before proceeding to get on it himself, straddling the other male.

"Hey, wait a minute. Where do you think you're going to? Why are we in separate rooms? Don't you want to spend the night with…"

He stopped and abruptly removed himself from the bed.

"Oh god. Oh dear god no. You planned this all along didn't you? This is why you spurned my advances on the plane. It's not because you didn't want to draw attention to us is it? This is payback."

Gouenji begun to pace the room, speaking aloud as his thoughts raced through his head. His eyes were wide with terror as realisation hit him.

"I thought you'd missed me and wanted to get back with me to start something more permanent but that's not it at all is it? You never wanted me back, you were just pissed that I walked out on you. No one does that to Kidou Yuuto do they? And so you decided to gain my trust again and right when you had me in the palm of your hand, you planned to crush me like you do everyone else. That's it isn't it? Oh god, I've been so fucking blind."

He walked out of the bedroom and into the sitting room. Kidou remained on the bed, never speaking and not moving.

"And to make it even more painful, you brought me to the other side of the world so I couldn't walk out on you again. I'd have to stay in this hotel under your control. I'm so stupid. I actually believed you. Thought you'd missed me, when really all you were doing is setting me up for an even bigger fall. Why? Why would you do that? Am I really so pathetic I need to have my heart ripped out and broken again, right when I thought I was recovering? You don't want me yet you don't want anyone else to have me either do you? This is because of that night with Fudou isn't it? I'm such a fool."

He stood in the middle of the sitting room and put his face in the palm of his hands. He wanted to be angry but he'd spent too many weeks hurt and upset recently and the tears came to him as easily as breathing. They were here now. Was it too much to wish for someone to love him for himself? Someone who could make him happy and would do everything in their power to look after him? Or was he actually so unlovable? Fine for a quick shag but no one who anyone would want to spend their whole life with. It seemed so unjust somehow.

Kidou sat on the bed and stared in disbelief at the turn of events. It was spiralling out of control and yet he couldn't find his voice to object to the accusations being fired his way. His body felt too heavy to stand up and defend himself and for once in his life, he didn't know what to do for the best. If he went over to Gouenji and argued it wasn't true, then Gouenji would probably call him a liar. Yet if he remained here on the bed, silent, that would be deemed as an admission of guilt also. He hadn't spurned Gouenji's advances on the plane at all, not really. But at the same time, he wanted their reunion to be special, not squashed in an aeroplane toilet cubical trying to shag like some hormonal teenagers. It was so undignified. He'd wanted to take his time and pleasure Gouenji in a way he'd never been pleasured before, almost court him in an old fashioned way. But Gouenji had seen it all as rejection, not romantic courtship. And now he was in danger of losing Gouenji completely, before he'd even got him back.

Slowly Kidou got up from the bed and walked over to where Gouenji stood. But instead of reaching out to him, he fell to the floor on his knees and hung his head low.

"Gouenji. I'm sorry. Please don't think that what you've just said is the truth, because it's not. It's not even close."

Gouenji removed his hands from his face and looked down at the man before him. He couldn't understand why Kidou was being so submissive, he had never acted like this before, not even all those years ago, as a child under the control of Kageyama Reiji.

"I don't understand Kidou. How can you say that after all you've done? It's pretty obvious that you don't want me. I just wish I'd realised before coming all the way out here."

Kidou raised his head and lifted his eyes to meet Gouenji's. He watched the tears fall down his friend's face, a steady flow creating small rivers down his cheeks. He wondered why it was that he always managed to put him through so much pain and anguish. Despite it not being what Kidou wanted, he did wonder if his friend would be better off without him.

"I want you more than anything I have ever wanted in my life Shuuya. I wasn't rejecting you and this isn't payback. I wanted to do things right this time. I didn't want us to have sex in a cramped toilet cubicle. I wanted to make love to you on a soft bed and take my time in satisfying and worshipping you. I couldn't have done that on the plane. And here I… I… I just didn't want you to think it was all about the sex. I know that's how it's been in the past but, I missed you more than I missed the sex. I wanted to be a gentleman but I guess I can't even do that right. A gentleman would never cause the one he loved so much pain. I'm sorry Shuuya. I tried. But I realise now how much I don't deserve you. I wanted it to be special but all I've done is hurt you more than I have done already. I'm sorry."

As he poured his heart out Kidou found that tears had started to pool in his own eyes. He sincerely hoped Gouenji would see them for what they really were but, right now, he probably thought Kidou was forcing them, trying to make himself look sad and get pity.

Gouenji kneeled down on the floor in front of Kidou and reached out to hold his hand.

"I don't know who's the biggest idiot between us, you or me. I feel like the biggest jerk alive right now. I didn't stop and think that you might be trying to do things differently instead of picking up where we left off. And now I've gone shooting my mouth off and saying things you don't deserve to hear. I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry Kidou. I'm so sorry."

He cupped Kidou's hands in his own and held onto them as if they were the most precious items which he had to guard with his own life. He felt such a fool. What he'd accused Kidou of was dreadful. This was meant to be a happy time and yet, all thanks to him, it was turning into the most horrendous of trips. He was late, caused an upset on the plane and now, accused Kidou of the most terrible of behaviour. He'd not even been away from home for 24 hours yet and he wondered how much worse he would make it by the time they were returning home.

"Shuuya"

The sound of Kidou's soft voice drew him out of his melancholy. He brought his eyes up to meet those of his friend.

"Can we just start again please? I brought you here to spoil you, not to upset you further. Let's just go to bed and when we wake up it'll start a new chapter of our lives and all this shit will be in the past. How about that?"

"Sounds like a plan. On one condition…we go to our bedroom and not yours or mine?"

"You got it."

They stood up and hand in hand made their way into what was previously Gouenji's bedroom. As they neared the bed Kidou turned and cupped Gouenji's face in his hands and gently kissed him, murmuring between the moments when their lips touched.

"I've missed you…. missed every single thing about you… I want you… I want you so much."

Kidou's kisses got rougher the more his desire grew and his hand which still cupped Gouenji's face moved and began to undress him. He started to unbutton Gouenji's shirt but it was taking far too long. He needed to get him naked now. To get inside him and release this pent up longing that had resided in him for over two months now. In a fit of impatience, Kidou took hold of both sides of the shirt and pulled, sending buttons flying over the bedroom floor. He pushed the shirt onto the floor and his mouth captured the skin that only seconds ago was hidden by crisp white cotton.

"I need you Shuuya. You complete me. Don't you ever leave me again."

Still kissing Gouenji's torso, Kidou lowered himself onto his knees and unbuckled the belt that locked Gouenji in from the world. He took no time in opening the buttons on his jeans and pushing them down until they pooled on the floor round his ankles. The briefs came next and Gouenji kicked them away, leaving him naked as the day he was born.

Kidou ran his hands up Gouenji legs, the hair that covered them sent sparks of friction through his hands. Kidou's body tingled with excited anticipation. He wanted this so much, needed it so much. He'd always thought he didn't want to be tied down and that a collection of partners would keep him sated, never to become stale. But once Gouenji was out of that mix, he saw his life for what it really was, devoid and lacking any purpose. Gouenji somehow had made him whole, only it had taken a hard lesson to realise it.

Quickly he took hold of Gouenji's penis and guided it into his mouth. The moans that came from the blonde's mouth were music to Kidou's ears. He took great pleasure knowing that he was the one to induce those divine sounds. As he licked and sucked he gently moved his fingers inside his friend, preparing him. Because once Kidou got him onto the bed, there would be no turning back.

Gouenji's knees were buckling with the onslaught. He placed his hands on Kidou's head, holding himself steady and also guiding him, encouraging him to go deeper. No one had the power to make him feel like Kidou did. The man was truly a master of eroticism. His body was tightening and it was only a matter of minutes, seconds even, when it would be all over. And as Kidou's tongue gently probed the slit at the end, Gouenji unravelled and came hard.

Kidou drank all Gouenji had to give. He didn't normally swallow, not for anyone but he needed to consume all that was on offer. He felt Gouenji's tremors subsiding and gently allowed his penis to slip from his mouth. Raising himself up onto his feet he quickly removed his clothes. He was desperate now and had to move this on further. As he moved towards the bed, Gouenji threw a condom at him which he had retrieved from his bag as Kidou undressed.

"Put it on me Shuuya"

He handed the packet back to Gouenji who sat on the bed. Carefully removing the foil wrapper he took hold of the rubber and held it at the end of Kidou's length. He looked up into the eyes of his lover and smirked.

"I'm not sure this is going to work Yuuto. I only bought large and you're going to need XXL at least."

He put on a mock puppy dog face and laughed before running the condom down Kidou's shaft. Once it was secured he looked up again.

"Need some lubrication?"

"Well, that depends on you doesn't it? If you want it rough and ready then no, but if you're in need of something a little softer then go ahead. So, what's it going to be?"

Gouenji licked his lips in anticipation, never once breaking eye contact with Kidou.

"Well, you know me, I'm totally gagging for it so I want you to do me hard and fast. But…well, a little lubricant couldn't hurt could it?"

And before Kidou had a chance to respond he took him fully into his mouth, coating him in saliva.

"Fuck. Gouenji. Stop it. If you don't then there'll be no need for lubrication as it'll be over before the show's even started."

He pushed Gouenji away from him and further onto the bed.

"Lie down now."

Gouenji quickly moved back and reclined himself. Kidou was on him immediately. His hands roamed Gouenji's body possessively as he pushed his tongue into his mouth. But he couldn't wait, he had to finish this now. Raising himself up slightly he looked into Gouenji's eyes.

"I can't resist you Shuuya. Look what you do to me. I need to be inside you. Now. Say you'll let me."

Gouenji looked up into the crimson eyes of his lover, they shone with lust and also adoration. Kidou had never once asked his permission before, it was something that he'd always just taken when he wanted. It was such a small gesture but one that made Gouenji feel like his heart would burst with happiness.

"For god's sake Kidou, just fuck me. And quickly."

The words were barely out of his mouth when Kidou slipped inside him. He hissed at the intrusion but those hisses soon turned to mewls of delight. He closed his eyes and his back arched involuntarily to allow deeper access.

Kidou tried to pace himself but it was impossible. He'd missed Gouenji far too much and the joy of being given a second chance proved to be his undoing. He lasted less than a minute before he came, harder than he had ever done so in his life.

"Aaaaaaahhhhh Shuuya. Oh my god."

He collapsed on top of Gouenji, trying to regulate his breathing. Feeling his friend's arm wrap around him and stroke his hair, he smiled. He'd just given the worst sexual performance of his life and yet it seemed that Gouenji wasn't going to criticise him for it.

"I'm sorry Shuuya. That was really shit, I'm so ashamed. You must be so disappointed in me."

"What? Are you kidding me? For the first time ever I got to see you unravel and lose control like that and I liked it. How could I ever be disappointed when I witnessed your pleasure? And if you're that bothered you can try again later and see if you can make it over a minute next time."

"Fuck you."

"That's what I'm hoping for but do you think you're man enough for the job Yuuto?"

"You've not lost that smart mouth of yours in the last two months I see."

"Of course not. I know you love it so much I purposely packed it in my case to bring here with me."

Kidou pulled out and rolled over to the other side of the bed. He took off the condom and slung it on the bedside cabinet, vowing to put it in a bin when he got up later. He looked back at Gouenji.

"Come here you."

He held out his arm and allowed Gouenji to move into the crook of it and rest his head on Kidou's chest. Kidou smoothed a stray hair from Gouenji's forehead before gently kissing the space that was left.

"Goodnight Shuuya. Get some sleep because I'm going to keep you busy when we get up later."

"Mmmm… yeah…. later"

Gouenji tried to respond but his body gave way to exhaustion. He drifted off to sleep with the woody sandalwood smell of Kidou's body invading his senses, and the comfort of his lover's arms wrapped around him. He felt secure and safe. This was where he belonged. It felt like home.

Kidou closed his eyes and smiled. He had so many things planned for the pair of them in the next few days that he wondered if he'd managed to even fit them all in. Especially since all he wanted to do was stay like this forever, holding on to Gouenji, protecting him and making him happy.

But they'd need to leave their bed for him to pull off his biggest plan of all…


	8. Perfect Day

**Hi everyone!**

**So this is it, the end of my story *cries* I've found writing it as much of a roller coaster as some of the situations I've put Gouenji and Kidou in so I kind of feel empathy with everything they have felt over the previous chapters. Don't be surprised if I just crawl away and hibernate for a short time after this, I may be short of energy (but in case of emergency, just waft chocolate under my nose and watch me spring to life in a nanosecond). **

**I want to give special thanks to Seiren for giving me fluffy ideas in Paris. In the end I couldn't fit in the meaning of Sacré Coeur without making Kidou sound like a boring dick (*imagines Fudou heckling from the back at this point*) but considering my original plan was to have this scene take place at the Eiffel Tower I think it turned out a lot better. And also, it's been a long time since I did the sights in Paris, please forgive me if my memory is as patchy as I presume it to be and I didn't get everything horribly wrong. In fact last time I stayed in Paris I recall a shop that had a display of dead mice in the window...attractive. Needless to say I didn't use that in the following chapter XD Anyway, bisous to you sweetie and Viva La Moustache!  
**

**Thank you everyone who has read this and left me feedback. I appreciate it so much (and must read everyone's reviews at least ten times, just so you know). I hope you all like the end (and have an urge to have an ice cream when you've finished reading).**

**So yeah, I know I talk to much so I'll shut up and let you get on and read it.**

**Enjoy **

* * *

Gouenji sat and watched as Kidou walked away from him, never diverting his gaze until he could no longer see his friend. He briefly closed his eyes and smiled. He was sat on the grass in a park close to the Place de la Concorde and Kidou was making his way to a kiosk to buy them both ice cream. Despite being late evening, the warm sun shone on his face and his whole body overflowed with contentment.

It had been the most perfect of days. He'd woke to find Kidou hovering over him, planting small kisses all over his chest and whispering sweet nothings unaware that Gouenji could hear every word he'd said. He'd tried to remain still, pretending to be asleep but couldn't contain his moan of delight as Kidou's lips travelled down his happy trail south of his navel.

"Good morning sleepyhead. Did you sleep well?" Kidou stopped his ministrations to address him. "I've been awake for ages and got bored waiting so I was just trying to keep myself busy until you woke."

"Mmmm….well, don't stop on my account."

"I don't plan to."

With that Kidou took Gouenji in a long and slow seductive kiss before spending the next hour showing him why his performance the previous night was just a small glitch, never to be repeated again.

Once they'd left their bed, Gouenji entered the sitting area to discover a champagne breakfast for two set out on the dining table. As well as a bottle of vintage Dom Perignon in the cooler, there was a large array of croissants, pastries, meats and cheese and a large cafetiere full of coffee.

"That coffee will be stone cold now I'm afraid. It was delivered before you woke up and that was quite a while ago now. I'll call reception and order another pot."

"Hey, there's no need. There's some instant over there on the tray near the kettle, I'll make us some of that."

"But that's going to be quite disgusting compared to a freshly ground roast."

"True, but when drunk after champers I don't think you'd notice anyway. So, shall we eat? I'm starved. Sex sure gives you an appetite in the morning."

"Shuuya, it's 1.30pm. It's not morning."

"Morning, afternoon, whatever. Minor details Yuuto."

He looked over into the red eyes of his friend and smiled. Reaching across the table he entwined their hands together.

"I don't think I said this last night, in fact, I'm certain I didn't so, I just wanted to say thank you."

"What for?"

"For all this of course. It must have cost you a fortune to book this place and the first class tickets, not to mention champagne breakfasts. Or is that lunch now at this time of day? Anyway, I was quite ungrateful last night and wasn't thinking straight so I apologise for my lack of manners. And this suite is stunning, it's like staying in a palace. Thank you."

"Shuuya, there is nothing to thank me for. I want to be able to spoil you with nice things. Anyway, get eating! We've got a lot of sightseeing to do today, you'll need your strength."

After they'd finished breakfast and showered they'd spent the afternoon trying to cram in as many of the Paris tourist attractions as possible. Starting with the Arc de Triomphe they made their way over to the Eiffel Tower and then on to Notre Dame Cathedral. They'd taken a respite from racing around the city between the sights by embarking on a river tour on-board a Bateaux Mouches. Gouenji had much preferred this method of sightseeing. The wind ruffled his hair making him at ease and he got to experience the stunning architecture without the manic chaos surrounding the hundreds of tourists who also wanted to visit Paris' famous buildings.

His eyes focused as Kidou appeared once more in view. He was carrying two of the biggest cones Gouenji had ever seen. He looked so handsome today. Free from his glasses, he wore a navy short sleeved shirt and mid blue jeans, finished off with a pair of brown brogues. And instead of that pensive intense look he was prone to wearing when his eyes were exposed, he appeared carefree and at ease. It was a sight that Gouenji found far more aesthetic than any of the buildings he had seen so far this day.

"Here you go. Double chocolate with a chocolate flake as well. You'll be disappointed to learn they had no chocolate sauce for the top."

"They didn't? Just what sort of savages are they breeding in this city? All civilised nations should realise the value of chocolate sauce."

"Or maybe they just like to restrain chocoholics like yourself from overdosing on all the sugar that you'd be consuming if they allowed you to have it."

"Bah! Then they'd be killjoys wouldn't they? What flavour did you get anyway?"

"French Vanilla."

"Vanilla? Well I never! I didn't expect the great Kidou Yuuto would be a fan of anything of the vanilla persuasion."

Gouenji smirked as he spoke. His eyes full of mischief but also love.

"You'll never understand how good vanilla is until you experience it yourself Shuuya. Here…"

Kidou took a long lick of the ice cream, coating his tongue in an abundance of the dessert. He cupped Gouenji's face and leaned forward, capturing his lips with his own and pushing his tongue inside the warm cavern as Gouenji subconsciously opened his mouth to allow access. Gouenji closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. His mouth was flooded with the cool, creamy ice cream, melting against the heat of his tongue and overflowing his taste buds with the smooth flavour of vanilla. It tasted heavenly but all too soon it was disappearing and with it, Kidou's tongue as he gently pulled away.

"What do you think of your first taste of vanilla then Shuuya? Do you think it's something that you may want to try again sometime?"

Without waiting for an answer, Kidou dragged his tongue through the ice cream again but this time he remained still and slowly licked his lips before swallowing his mouthful.

Gouenji was rooted to the spot. He couldn't move. His eyes transfixed on the movements Kidou made licking the ice cream. He wanted to taste it again. Without a doubt it was one of the most erotic moments he had ever experienced, yet he couldn't find his voice to request second helpings. He was completely immobilised.

"Shuuya, you're dribbling."

Kidou's voice swirled around him and he automatically raised his hand to wipe his mouth.

"Not there, silly. Your ice cream."

He watched as Kidou placed his hand on his wrist and raised his left arm. Indeed, his own ice cream was melting, cascading down his hand like muddy rivers. Very slowly the brunette bent down and cleaned up the mess of melted chocolate with his tongue and once it seemed that Gouenji's hand was spotless, he took hold of the cone and gently sucked each finger, massaging them with mouth.

"You really are a dirty boy, aren't you Shuuya? Just look at the mess you've made for yourself."

Gouenji swallowed hard and tried to stabilise his breathing.

"Yuuto, you…. you… you really need to stop this right now or I'll be making a mess of myself somewhere else. Somewhere that I'd rather not do in public if you don't mind."

Kidou laughed as Gouenji flushed in embarrassment and handed the ice cream back to him.

"Come on, eat up. I was thinking about going up to Montmarte while it's still light, there's a big artist community up there at the Place du Tertre and I was hoping we could get a portrait drawn of the pair of us as a souvenir of this trip. What do you think?"

"That would be fantastic actually."

Glad of the distraction, Gouenji finished his ice cream and quickly washed his hands in the park bathrooms to remove all stickiness before taking hold of Kidou's hand and setting off north towards Montmartre.

The sun was low in the sky by the time they'd climbed up the hill towards the Place du Tertre. As they reached the square they marvelled at the amount of artists who resided in the area. Spending some time viewing everyone's canvases they settled for the work of an elderly gentleman who worked only in charcoal and the occasional use of white chalk for highlights. His pieces were simplistic but they had a timeless quality to them and Kidou especially wanted them to both look back on the piece in twenty years' time and it still look as modern and fresh as it would today. Even if the pair of them looked less fresh with greying hair and telling wrinkles.

They posed with their arms around one another and laughing as the artist sketched them and the imposing Basilique du Sacré Coeur in the background. The finished canvas was outstanding. Both marvelled at the man's talent and gave him a tip almost as much as the price his work had cost. Instead of carrying the drawing around with them for the remainder of the evening, the artist offered a service to deliver the piece to their hotel for an extra cost which Kidou gladly accepted.

"I can't believe how amazing that guy actually was. He only used two colours and yet it was as accurate as any photograph. It's going to look amazing in your house Yuuto."

"It certainly will, although I may have to have the place redecorated so that it has pride of place in my sitting room. Anyway, while we're here, let's go up to Sacré Coeur, it would be a tragedy to be this close and not visit such a magnificent building."

It was cool and dark as they entered the church. The smell of incense drifted through the air indicating that mass had not long ended and although full of people, a respectful hush filled the nave. Looking down towards the front, their eyes were drawn to the ceiling which was adorned by the most striking mosaic depicting Jesus Christ. It was like nothing they had ever seen before and walked towards the sanctuary for a closer look. When they stepped below the mosaic near the altar, Gouenji felt Kidou take his left hand in his own and gently pull it causing him to stop.

"What is it Yuuto?"

Kidou moved to face Gouenji and as they stood in front of the opulent altar, he went down on one knee.

"Shuuya, I hope you know by now just how much you mean to me. I lost a large part of myself when I lost you, a part I never even realised existed before then. I never want to feel that pain and emptiness again and I don't want you to experience them again either. I want to be with you and make you happy and if I can achieve that, then I will be indeed a lucky man."

Gouenji stood looking down at the man he loved. Vaguely aware of what was probably coming next but unable to shake the uncomfortable sensation of this turn of events happening in a very public place. He could sense a crowd forming around them out the corner of his eye and despite him enjoying having a very public role in his job, he much preferred to keep his private life exactly that. Private.

"Um… Yuuto?" He all but whispered, trying desperately to keep the faint hint of terror from his voice. "I… er… um… can we do this somewhere a bit more secluded please? Somewhere where there won't be people watching us?"

"But Shuuya, they are our witnesses. I want them to hear everything first hand so I don't have to repeat what I'm going to say when we get home."

Gouenji was confused. What did he mean by that? Repeating what back home? And what did these strangers have to do with home anyway? He turned his head to the right, away from the altar, towards the crowd, ready to apologise for being in the way of their photographs but the words never left his mouth. For his vision was filled not with strangers, but with familiar faces. His friends. Their friends, from back home.

He saw Endou and Natsumi, Toramaru, Fubuki, Haruna, Aki and Kazemaru. There was more of them but he lost the ability to register anyone else once his eyes locked with a certain person standing front and centre. The person who made this all possible for both him and Kidou. Fudou. And he was smiling and giving him the thumbs up.

"Oi Shubby, are you going to listen to what numbnuts down there is going to say to you or are you going to just stand there with your gob flapping open like a fucking goldfish?"

"Fudou!" Hissed Natsumi, poking him in the ribs with her hand. "You don't talk like that in a house of worship, show some respect."

"Heh. Sorry about that, Mrs E. Won't happen again."

"It had better not."

"Shuuya…"

Gouenji turned his head back to look again at the man on his knee before him.

"Yuuto."

"Now you know everyone is here and witnessing what I am about to say, I'll begin. Shuuya, I love you. I think I must always have loved you deep down but I was too much of an idiot to realise it. I'm going to do things right this time and so I want all our friends to know what I am about to request. I was worried that once we returned to Japan you'd think I'd revert to my old ways and no one would know what happened between us here and so this way you'd know it's not true and I intend to stand by every word I say. Shuuya, please will you be my boyfriend? I want to share my life with you and later on, when you think the time is right and I have passed whatever probationary period with our relationship you set, then I would also like you to marry me. I don't expect an answer to that yet and come the time you feel that I am worthy of your commitment then just say the word and I will propose to you again and we will get married. Unless of course you don't want that and want us to remain as boyfriends, partners, whatever you want to call us. But as I knew I was going to be mentioning marriage, I want you to have this."

He reached into his jacket pocket and the tension in the air was electric. But it was not a ring that he pulled out but an envelope which he handed to Gouenji.

Gouenji took the letter from Kidou's hand. His mind was racing. He'd asked him to marry him. Kidou. He'd actually just asked him to marry him. And in front of their friends too, so there would be no denial once they returned to Tokyo. He'd not accepted yet, not even said a word. Yet he was under the impression that the contents of the letter were to be viewed before any such decision was to be made. He was shaking as he opened the envelope, not sure what it was going to be and of what relevance it could have regarding the proposal to be Kidou's boyfriend and future husband. As he took out the letter he instantly recognised his father's handwriting.

_"Shuuya._

_If you are reading this letter then Kidou has gone ahead and proposed to you as was his intention. He came to see me at work a week ago and informed me of his plans and to ask for my blessing. While the art of asking a father for his daughter's hand in marriage is a tradition that has almost no place in this modern world, and not to mention that you are my son and not daughter, Kidou wanted to do things right and asked me regardless._

_I know the pain you have suffered recently having witnessed it first hand, but I also saw the joy and excitement you possessed when preparing for this trip. Only you can answer the question he has put to you. All I want from you is your happiness, son. And if it makes you happy to get married then I too will be happy. Similarly, should you decide to decline the offer, I will stand by your decision as well._

_True love is a precious thing to be treasured for as long as you can hold it as it can be taken from you in the blink of an eye. Not everyone is even lucky enough to find their soul mate so if you are one of the chosen few, you need to hold on to that person and worship them as best you can._

_I was one of the chosen ones but, alas, my time with my soul mate was not to be as long as I hoped yet I see my beloved wife every day in the priceless gifts she left for me, yourself and Yuuka. Your mum loved you with everything she had and I know at this very moment she will be stood beside you, arm around your waist, your secret tower of strength. There to support you whenever you need her._

_Make the right decision for you Shuuya, the one that will bring you the most happiness._

_Father"_

Gouenji closed the letter and his eyes and took a deep breath. He was shaking more than ever now having read his father's letter. It made him see things clearly knowing that Kidou had made his intentions known and he wouldn't have to worry about approaching his father on his return. The fact that it didn't matter to his father what decision he made him respect the man more than he did already but his elation was dampened slightly at the realisation that his father too had all this, and more yet had to overcome the pain of losing the most important person in his life so young.

He opened his eyes and put the letter in his pocket before turning slightly to address his friends.

"Everyone. I never thought I'd see any of you this weekend but I am so glad you are here. I doubt you would have believed me had I told you about this moment on my return."

He turned back to face Kidou and crouched down so that he was on a similar level with him. Cupping Kidou's hands in his own he took another deep breath and spoke again.

"Yuuto. I never expected any of this at all. Every time I have thought that this weekend couldn't get any better, you surprise me once again with something else. The effort you have gone to in preparation for this moment has me dumbfounded but it has made it perfect. Beyond perfect. I love you Yuuto, I always have. Literally, I have dreamt of this moment for a long time yet couldn't believe it would happen, I didn't really believe I deserved it, but you proved me wrong. Now I think that miracles can happen because one did happen to me. It brought you to me and made you want to share your life with me and for that I am eternally grateful.

So my answer is yes. I would love to be your boyfriend. More than anything in the world. I'm not going to accept your marriage proposal, not yet anyway. I'd rather us take our time and get to know each other properly before committing to something so life changing. But that doesn't mean it's a no either, I just don't want you to regret asking me too early."

"I won't change my mind or regret anything Shuuya, but I understand. If it's what you want then it's what I'll accept."

He stood up and gently pulled Gouenji up with him having never released his hands from their embrace. He turned slightly towards their friends.

"Today has been a great day for me and now I am in need of a drink. How about you all join me and my boyfriend in a bar down the hill for a celebration?"

"Thank god for that, I thought you'd never ask, you tightwad. Come on goggle boy, I'm gagging for a beer." Fudou responded loudly but successfully dodged Natsumi's hand from a second blow to the ribs.

As the group walked towards the bar Gouenji gently squeezed Kidou's hand.

"Your boyfriend. I really like the sound of that, Yuuto."

"So do I. But I'll like it even more when I can proudly introduce you as my husband."

"Yeah. Me too."


	9. Epilogue

"How do I look? Is my tie straight?"

"You look fine. More than fine. Just chill out and stop pacing the room, you're doing my fucking head in."

A year had passed since Kidou had proposed in Paris and Gouenji was currently stood in his hotel room with Fudou awaiting the car that would take them to the temple to begin the wedding ceremony. They'd been a couple for six months when he had suggested they set a date and ever since their lives had been a whirlwind of organising and planning.

But now the day was finally here and he had butterflies in his stomach. It wasn't that he was anxious as to whether or not he was doing the right thing, more that he wished the ceremony was over with so they could relax a little and enjoy the rest of their day.

"Shuuya. Shuuya. SHUUYA! For fuck's sake, cloth ears, snap out of it. How the fuck are you going to make it through the day in this state?"

He'd asked Fudou to be his best man as it was he who'd gotten Gouenji through the bad times but also the person responsible for getting him and Kidou back together again. And because he couldn't think of a better person to give him a verbal slap in the face when his nerves were shredded like they currently were.

"Come on Shubby, it's time to go. The car is outside waiting for you and your beloved threatened to chop my knob off if I didn't get you there on time today which I thought was a bit harsh. Wanker."

"You know, he hates you calling me Shubby"

"So? He'll just have to deal with it won't he? I'm not going to stop just because his lordship gets all fucking pissy about it. And anyway, in a few hours he'll get to call you hubby and that's far better."

"Yeah, it really is."

As the car neared the temple Gouenji could see the main wedding party waiting outside. Since it wasn't a traditional wedding service, they'd decided that everyone would walk in together instead of the standard set up where the husband to be would wait inside for his partner. He saw Yuuka and Haruna, their bridesmaids, dressed in cream dresses with pink trimmings which were enhanced by the abundance of cherry blossom that adorned the nearby trees and also their bouquets. They looked as pretty as a picture and his heart swelled with pride just seeing them chatting together, unaware of the admiration they were receiving from the guests who gathered close by. To the right of them was Endou, Kidou's best man. Natsumi was there too, fussing over him, tightening his tie and attempting to make him look presentable and less awkward. She wasn't succeeding. And he was still wearing that damn headband so she obviously hadn't managed to carry out her threat of throwing it away.

And there in the middle of them stood Kidou. Gouenji's heart skipped a beat and he couldn't help letting out a gasp as he set eyes upon the man who, in less than an hour, would be his husband. He was wearing a charcoal grey coloured suit worn with a white shirt and accessorised with a red tie and handkerchief which were almost a perfect colour match to his eyes. Eyes that were very visible today due to the lack of obstructive glasses. Slowly Kidou was wearing glasses less these days, ever since Gouenji had commented on how much more attractive he was without them. Gouenji himself was dressed in similar attire, only he wore a cravat in place of a tie.

The car stopped and he almost raced out the door to be with Kidou. He was glad they'd taken on-board the western tradition to spend their last single night apart, it made their reunion all the more special somehow. While it had only been hours since they last saw one another, it seemed like months. He and Fudou had spent the evening in the hotel bar, chatting about old times and watching baseball on the TV. He'd enjoyed himself, but he missed not being able to return home and snuggle up in bed next to Kidou, trying to wake him up with his drunken advances.

"I missed you."

"Me too Shuuya. You look beautiful. I'm going to find it a struggle concentrating with you stood next to me looking all sexy and shaggable."

"Hush now, you flatter me far too much. Especially when you're stood there looking like the man of my dreams. Oh wait, my mistake, you look like that every single day."

He leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Kidou's cheek.

"I love you Yuuto."

"And I love you too Shuuya. Shall we go inside then? I have a hot date with my husband later and I don't want to be late."

* * *

**So that's it everyone., I'm not going to be adding any more chapters about their wedding or their lives following it (but I do think they would have gone to Europe on their honeymoon to spend a bit longer in Paris and relive some happy memories). I really hope you enjoyed it and it makes a bit of sense to read in full.**

**It took a long time but finally Gouenji got his happy ending he deserved (even if I did find it easier to write him being heartbroken than happy...I'm a bad person).**

**Thank you everyone, it's been fun :3**


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